February 6, 1998 GAY PEOPLE'S CHRONICLE 9

SPEAK OUT

Policy says 'don't ask,' but soldiers are trained to hate gays

by Michael A. Neubecker

I am a former Army soldier who served with NATO in Naples, Italy, from 1975 to 1978, with many Navy personnel.

One night at an on-base recreation center, I stopped an assault on a sailor named Joe by another sailor. After everyone left the area, I stood there watching Joe as he sobbed, while using his shirt to stop the profuse bleeding from his nose and lips.

Sympathetically, I stayed with him and asked what had provoked the attack. He

While I didn't really feel it made a difference about his sexual orientation, I didn't express as much support for him as I should have. I asked him if I should call the Shore Patrol or an ambulance for him.

He said, "No, please don't, I'll be fine." It's no wonder that he didn't want any medical or criminal report on this incident, because the investigation would have turned very quickly toward my same kind of questioning. Any reasonable person can see that

explained that he was being harassed with The ROTC class pounded on

name-calling in the bar. He told me how his attacker had continually called him "faggot" inside the bar area of the building while the onlooking sailors and soldiers laughed. Joe had finally become fed up with the harassment and got up to leave. As he headed for the door Joe had said, "It takes one to know one."

It was as Joe walked outside into the parking lot that I had witnessed the remainder of the incident. His assailant pushed him from behind, knocking him to the ground. He then began pummeling Joe in the face with his fists as he knelt on his chest. It took me by surprise, so I didn't react right away, but then I pulled his attacker off of him.

When Joe finished telling me how it all started, the first question I asked Joe was, "Why did he call you a faggot?”

Joe didn't answer me. After a long pause,

I asked him, "Are you?"

Joe still didn't answer, but from the tormented look on his face and anguish in his eyes I knew he couldn't tell me the truth.

Looking back on this incident, I can't say I'm proud of my question. It implied that his answer would somehow make a difference about how much compassion he would deserve. Should someone be treated worse than an animal because they are gay or lesbian?

their desks in unison while

shouting, 'No Fags! No Fags! No Fags!'

gay people surely are at a higher risk of attack if they are unwilling to report abuse for fear of being labeled as gay, and the resulting unfair treatment that would follow. They would then be watched closely for any variance in the rules that could be used to persecute or discharge them.

Joe's silence did not keep him safe, but his options were limited. Could he have confided in a military chaplain or psychologist? Not really, because there is no confidentiality. Like many servicemembers, he had an additional threat of being outed to his family. An early discharge would have been something that might have made him follow the course of action that his friend and fellow sailor took, by ending his own life two months earlier.

I'm glad I was there to break up that assault or it might have had a result similar to Allen Schindler's murder in Japan by his fellow sailors in 1991.

the dental care

your family deserves

We would like to invite you and your

loved ones for an introductory visit including a Complimentary Oral Exam,

Oral Cancer Screening and Smile Analysis.

Comforting Care for the Smile You Always Wanted

RICHARD S.

HONG, D.M.D.

OZAWA, D.M.D., INC.

15400 SNOW RD. BROOK PARK, OHIO 216-265-8900

CALL FOR APPT. TODAY NEW PATIENTS WELCOME MOST INSURANCES ACCEPTED

• Gentle ultrasonic cleanings

Family dentistry for adults and children

• Cosmetic denistry

• Extractions and root canals

• Dentures (Complete and partial).

• Crown and bridge work

Low dose X-rays

State-of-the-art sterilization

OUTIN!

Buying a car can be an open and comfortable process.

See or Call

Jim Greenfield

New & Used Sales & Leasing

Experience the Metro difference!

METRO TOYOTA

W 137th & Brookpark Road CFF 1480 215/267-7000

Our customers send us their friends!

It was about three years after Schindler's murder that my son told me he is gay. I had to educate myself on what being gay is all about, and accept him as the wonderful person he is.

He was awarded an ROTC scholarship directly out of high school for his leadership skills and academic excellence. After nearly a year into his college study, he was intimidated into dropping out of the ROTC program at Eastern Michigan University.

One day, his entire class recited an antigay chant, which was started by a student after hearing a homophobic story by the Army officer-instructor. The class pounded on their desks in unison while shouting, “No Fags! No Fags! No Fags!" This preceded the periodic routine of asking all students to sign a paper claiming they are not homosexual.

It is bad enough that the military's policies discriminate against homosexuals, but worse yet, it is teaching and promoting homophobia.

My son knew he had to deal with his stored-away feelings of being gay, and learn to accept himself. He also learned that he needed to come out, knowing that his silence would not keep him safe. He was fortunate

enough to have the option to change his career path away from military service.

Due to economics, many people don't have that option, and stay in dangerous situations and careers like the military while trying to be closeted. However, some people— like Joe's attacker-will violently and abusively drag someone out of the closet.

The compromise"don't ask, don't tell, don't pursue" policy, which will surely one day be declared unconstitutional, has not changed any of these dynamics. Joe's only safe option at the time was to stay quiet and hope to make it through his enlistment period alive.

Thankfully, now there is an organization like the Servicemembers Legal Defense Network that can be called for confidential advice when there is harassment of any sort based on someone's perceived sexual orientation. Until there is true justice in our military, thankfully there is the SLDN.

Michael A. Neubecker is an honorably discharged Specialist 5 U.S Army Signal Corps, a member of the American Legion and the P-FLAG chapter in Detroit suburban Brownstown Twp., Michigan. The Servicemembers Legal Defense Network can be reached at 202-328-3244.

Antone F. Feo, Ph.D. & Associates, Inc.

·Gay/Bisexual/Lesbian Issues

· Sexual Relationship/Concerns

No Wait Policy

·

· Depression /Anxiety

Abusive Relationships

· Transgendered

· HIV/AIDS/Chronic Illness

24500 Center Ridge Road, Bldg. 4 Suite 100

Westlake, Ohio 44145 440/899-1300

HOMOPHOBIA

Kate O'Hanlan, M.D. Guest Speaker

Renowned woman's cancer specialist from Stanford University Lesbian and gay rights activist and leader

Former president of the Gay and Lesbian Medical Association

health hazard

Monday March 2, 1998

6pm Cash Bar 7pm Dinner 8pm Lecture

$25 per person includes chicken or

pasta dinner and lecture

Hilton South

(I-77 at Rockside Rd. in Independence)

Reservations

Send checks payable to 'NOPHR,' indicating your name, address, phone#, and number of attendees to: Dave Cogan, 16211 Fernway Rd., Shaker Hts., OH, 44120 Sorry but we are unable to make reservations without payment.

Checks must be received no later than Feb. 25. Call 216-281-7418 or 216-283-1437 for more information. **Sponsored by the Northern Ohio Physicians for Human Rights as our annual meeting.**